The Condom Conundrum

What Makes a Romance

When I read a romance there are a couple of things I demand. First and foremost, a HEA. Don’t have it? Then it ain’t a romance and don’t try to sell it to me as one. Second, when I’m reading a love scene, I don’t want to be thrown out of the read. I want to enjoy the fantasy of romantic, uninhibited, steamy sex. I read a love scene the other night where the hero stopped to put on a condom and the heroine was worried it (the condom) was going to bust as the hero was rolling it over his erection.

I’m guessing it was the author’s way of saying the guy was HUGE *and* how thoughtful and caring he was by putting a condom on before he had sex with the heroine. Unfortunately the great sexual tension that had been built up to that moment was completely lost as I burst out laughing at the image of a guy with a fat c*ck trying not to break a condom he was putting on. Not the image I’m sure the author was going for. As a result, I couldn’t get back into the read. I’m still chuckling as I think about it! LOL So I thought it might make for a fun blog or at the very least give me a bully pulpit to do a point/counterpoint on the issue of condoms in romance books .*grin*

Jane You Misguided, Miserable Slut

The points in the following mini-debate are paraphrased commentary I’ve heard from several different sources over the last year or so. The counterpoints are my POV. Neither side is right or wrong. It’s just about what some readers (including me) are comfortable with in a book and what they’re not.

Point – Condoms are necessary because I expect characters to act responsibly in a book. If the hero doesn’t pull out a condom during a love scene, it’s not realistic. I want the hero to say “I care” by pulling out that foil wrapper. It doesn't have to be added into the love scene, but I need to know wrappers are laying on the floor either before or after the scene. When I don’t see a condom used, it throws me out of the read and most of the time I'll put the book down.

Counterpoint – If we’re talking realism, how about this, if the condom goes on, it has to come off. When it comes off, it’s got that ick factor, because one hopes that the guy's been satisfied. Why don’t authors show that realism too? Probably because it’s not romantic. I find it curious that we don’t demand similar standards for love scenes in movies. I watched Maid in Manhattan this past weekend and I didn’t see one single wrapper the morning after. Same for James Bond and all the women he’s had over the years. If we can assume protection is used in a movie’s love scene is there some reason we cannot assume the same thing for a romance book. Or are we to apply a different standard of entertainment to a book versus a movie simply because it’s a book, or more specifically a romance book? Is this some way of legitimizing romance?

Point – A condom used by the hero in a romance shows he cares about the heroine. It makes me believe he cares and respects her enough because he’s aware of STDs or doesn’t want to impregnate her. He’s more heroic when he pulls out a condom. It shows he cares.

Counterpoint – When reading a sexy romance we generally assume a couple having sex for the first time is either in love or almost in love. If a reader can take that leap of faith, why is it so difficult to assume protection isn’t being used just because the author doesn’t actually show it? As for being heroic, if a couple has sex in a book without being in love or at least halfway there that first time or two, I find that even more unheroic than a hero who doesn’t pop on a condom. Even if the work is Erotic Romance or Erotica, why would a hero wear a condom, but turn around and perform oral sex. You can get STDs from oral sex, just like unprotected sex. Again, it’s about letting the reader make up their own mind. I believe readers are intelligent people. They don’t need things dumbed down for them. I’m sure they can assume that protection is a logical part of the sex act and it's not necessary for a satisfying read.

Point – It’s an author’s responsibility to add in safe sex issues in their work because we live in a society where STDs and unwanted pregnancies are a major issue. We need to consider that there are impressionable minds out there. To not show safe sex in a book is irresponsible of the author.

Counterpoint – While STDs and unwanted pregnancies are a societal issue, and can be addressed in a romance if an author so chooses, it’s not an author’s responsibility to educate readers on safe sex, particularly when awareness about the issue is quite prevalent in our society.

One can also turn the STD issue around and view it as maybe the hero is using a condom because he’s got a STD he doesn’t want to transmit to the heroine. If that were the case, why hasn’t he been cured? If it’s incurable, then that needs to be addressed LONG before the couple has sex. If the hero doesn’t tell the heroine he’s got a problem, that’s unheroic. If he doesn’t have an STD, is he perhaps afraid the heroine will give him something if he doesn't put on a condom? Naturally, these are exaggerations and unlikely points that would appear in a romance (although it might make for an interesting read), but the point is that using STDs as a reason for including a condom in romance is to me ridiculous.

The fear of pregnancy however I understand, and I could buy this factor if it’s stated that’s the reason for a condom being used. But again, this is fiction and the heroine won’t get pregnant unless the author deems it so (or the character) so it nullifies the need for a condom.

Point – Romance is supposed to show realism in the development of characters and their relationship. Authors need to be cognizant of this issue and ensure that realism is added into their books.

Counterpoint – If realism is the point of using condoms, then I put forth the argument that realism needs to extend beyond the condoms to more realistic heroes and heroines. Men who aren’t super hot sex machines (although I do love a hottie in a romance). Forget about men who're drop dead gorgeous with abs that are hard as a tree trunk or flat stomachs or perfect bodies in general. We need heroines that don’t have long silky hair, lovely faces, a svelte figure or other fabulous qualities. Let’s add to our love scenes those moments of skin flapping against skin as lovers copulate. What about those flatulence sounds that occur occasionally when a c*ck pops in and out a certain way. (*evil grin*) Those are all realistic sounds and images. Why aren’t they depicted? I don’t know about you, but there’s a definite, eeewwww factor in there for me. It just doesn’t make for a hot, steamy, ROMANTIC love scene IMHO.

For me personally, condoms in a love scene just aren't romantic. They're about being politically correct and the promoting of a safe sex agenda. I don’t write them because I believe they detract from a love scene. I think writing condoms into a love scene has to be a decision of each individual author. If a reader expects political correctness, it won’t be found in my books. I write romance. Romance that entertains. Romance that’s escapism and fantasy with core values such as love, empowerment, hope and HEAs, because the reality is life doesn’t always come with HEAs. I'm not about preaching safe sex to a reader. I think my readers are intelligent enough to figure out that safe sex is something you practice in the real world, and it’s not necessary to have it in a romance book that’s created to entertain you. When I explained this blog to the DH, his reaction was a *snort* and then "Get real, it's a fantasy." Guess I've got one believer in my court. LOL

Cooking With The RITA/GH Categories

Whenever RWA’s National Conference rolls each year something generally creates some friction within the organization. One thing that just reared its head then died a quick death because of a missed deadline was a request for the RWA Board to consider adding an ER/E category to the RITA/Golden Heart contests. There’s been some heated discussion about this topic in a couple of quarters, and over a year ago, I posted about why a separate category was needed.

The Ingredients

They say it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, but I rarely do unless new info on a particular subject comes to light. Here’s the crux of it if you’re in the dark. A large number of writers in the ER/E community want their own category in the RITA and GH. The predominant reason I hear is an ER/E category is needed so our work is judged fairly. Writers want to be judged by others who’re familiar with the structure of ER/E. I understand this mindset given letters to the RWR this past year as well as debacles at the AGM over the past few years. I also keep hearing that ER/E deserves its own category since Inspry has their own.

As I understand it, RITA and GH categories are defined based on established subgenres. From my limited perspective and knowledge, my guess is Inspry got their own category because it became an established subgenre. If this is true, then this is the strongest justification for an ER/E category, primarily because ER/E is its own subgenre. It’s been around for quite some time. Ellora’s Cave was founded in 2000 to provide ER/E to readers, and that was eight years ago. I’d say that qualifies as an established subgenre. However, the real question is what the parameters RWA uses to define a subgenre as established. If they only define the establishment of a subgenre based on print publication (which is my guess), then ER/E is probably not be an established subgenre from RWA’s viewpoint, despite the subgenres birth and roots in ePublishing and its continued growth in that medium over the past eight years. In terms of NY print, it’s only been around for about three years. That might not be enough staying power for some of RWA’s powers that be.

Mixing The Batter

Added into the mix are a lot of ER/E works that easily fit into the categories that are already established subgenres. But then I believe that’s true of a number of inspry books as well. All of this still points back to a desire by writers to have judges reading their work who understand the subgenre of romance. Particularly fiction on opposite spectrums that can incite strong emotional reactions (religion and sex, hell doesn’t get any hotter than discussions on these topics!). Further complicating the issue for me is my recent discussion with writers who received their scores from this year’s RITA contest.

In a recent discussion with several ER/E authors, I learned their RITA scores ranged from 4s to 9s with a number of the scores leaning toward higher numbers (7s and 8s) as opposed to lower ones, and I don’t recall any 1s, 2s or 3s either. I pointed out to one of the authors who’d received all high scores except for one low number that she’d done really well given the fact that there are up to 1200 entries allowed in each category (and her category is a popular one). I mean she was sporting numbers over six in all but one score. That’s great given it was an ER/E with some quite erotic elements. I interpreted the results as saying that the judges who read the book were able to look at the book objectively and not judge it harshly simply because it had erotic content. So for me, this discussion on RITA scores seriously impacts the argument that ER/E won’t be judged fairly. Granted, this was a small group of writers, but I’m going to encourage the special interest chapter for ER/E, Passionate Ink, to poll its members for scores so we can study the issue more closely.

Oven Set to 350 Fahrenheit

So has this new information changed my mind completely? No. I can still see the devil in the details, and I am convinced ER/E is a legitimate, fully established subgenre. But I’m not convinced that we can claim unfair judging as a reason for establishing the category. However, I can see the possibility of an entry being entered into say the paranormal category and then SLAM the entry is marked as being in the wrong category because in the judge’s opinion it’s ER/E. This is one of the downsides to having an ER/E category.

New Recipe

What I’d really like to see is something so radical that it won’t ever happen! I’d love to see the RITA’s and GH condensed down to the best top 10 or 20 books out of all entries. Claire Delacroix mentioned that idea to me not to long ago and I loved it. (Claire said 10, but I think 20 would be more fair and well-rounded). There would be no subgenre categories at all. It would be about what the majority viewed as being the top books of the year. On top of that it would make the awards event not so long and drawn out.

Then there’s THIS idea. Why doesn’t RWA work with booksellers to establish a reader-based contest? Yes, RT does this, but I’m suggesting something that is coordinated via the booksellers versus a magazine. This could be a way of promoting romance in a way that RWA’s never done before. Let the reader decide what they consider the best of the best.

The Icing

In the end, it really doesn’t matter, because IMHO, the RITAs and the GH are like the Oscars of the romance fiction world. It’s really nice to be recognized by your peers. The only difference is that our awards don’t generally carry that much weight when it comes to money (i.e., increased reader sales, and I’m not convinced it means more money in advances). I think a final or win in these two contests are more like an accomplishment on a resume as opposed to greater financial gain. It’s earning respect for your work from your peers. While that’s important, it’s the opinion of readers that help us butter our bread. Thus I’m slowly coming to the party with the thought that what my peers think of me isn’t necessarily as important as what my readers think of my books.

See, I was half-baked and I’m still cooking!! LOL

Monica

Misty Saturday mornings and new projects

There's something wonderful about Saturday mornings in the country. The quiet world seems to move at a slower pace. We're under some cloud cover and my woods are green and misty. I stood on my patio and listened as drops of water fell from leaf to leaf and finally to the ground. A pheasant called to an unresponsive mate then he, too, fell silent. Finally, a soft rustling reached my ears as my black cat decided it was safe to leave his post as defender of the jungle and come in for a nap.

I love Saturday mornings. It's prime writing time for me. I have to drag my sorry butt out of bed Monday-Friday to go to my day job, but on Saturday, I can hop out of the rack at five a.m., ready to write. The bulk of my body of work has been written on Saturday mornings. Loving Luke is no exception.

Now I'm on a new project. Or is a new, old project? I had the idea for this story a long time ago, but other stories somehow got in the way. All I know is the words to this story are finally flowing onto the page and this time I won't allow another man to distract me with his story.

Well, I'm going to try not to let him distract me. It is the weekend, after all.

Rayne

- - -

An excerpt from Loving Luke:


Chere’s tongue flicked across his lips. Luke answered, laving her lips with his, nibbling on her full, pouty lower lip that had begged his attention all evening. His balls drew up. He hardened in three quick jolts of pure, lusty anticipation. She pressed closer and he slid one hand down to cup her bottom. She jumped as he pushed her against the French door, pinning her. The kiss deepened. She took all he gave her and offered up her desire in return.

Luke pulled away. She looked up at him and blinked.

“Maybe we should sit down and finish our wine.”

She blinked again. “Maybe we should go over to the sofa where it’s more comfortable. They say you shouldn’t stand at a window during a thunderstorm.”

He shook his head. “Lightning has already struck here and I’m still breathing.”

She rolled her eyes. “My, how you do go on.” She pulled his head down and kissed him lightly then slipped out of his embrace. “I’m going to the sofa and kick off my shoes…Oh!”

Lightning cracked! Thunder boomed and the room plunged into blackness. He looked out the window to find half of Morrisville suddenly dark.

“Are you okay?” He did love the way girls let out those little shrieks upon occasion. It was just so… girly. “Do you have any candles?”

“I’m fine, honest. It just startled me.” She motioned for him to sit on the couch. “Sit there and don’t blunder about and break anything while I get a couple votives.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He dropped onto the sofa, stretched out his legs, leaned his head back and tried to relax while trying to convince himself to behave when she sat down beside him.

They were going to keep all four feet on the floor. He’d keep his hands polite and not slide that pretty skirt up and find out just how soft her inner thighs might be.
He wasn’t going to lay her back and kiss every inch of her he could reach. He just wasn’t going to that. He didn’t care if his balls turned blue and his cock ached worse than healing gum surgery. He would be a gentleman, damn it, right after he adjusted his bits while she couldn’t see him with his hand down his jeans.

Chere walked slowly back into the room carrying two lit votives in amber colored holders which she set on the coffee table.

“This should be enough light to see by so we can finish our wine. I guess you really are stuck here for a while. The elevators won’t be working with the power out.”

“The emergency lighting will be on in the stairwell if you throw me out.”

“Out is not where I’m throwing you.”

She planted her hands on his shoulders and pushed him over onto the cushions and stretched out on top of him.

Thank heavens.

LOVING LUKE - now avaiable at New Concepts Publishing

Rayne Forrest
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And they lived happily ever after...

What is it that defines a really satisfying story? I'll admit to habitually picking up the standard grocery store historical romance and reading it in a few hours. I know what I'm getting. There will be a handsome rogue, a feisty lady, some kind of problem that needs addressing and yes, there will be a final portrait of the family living in wedded bliss.

However, as much as I enjoy these romps through the landscape of Old England, I do make practice of closing the book at the end of the last chapter. I don't tend to read the Epilogue that hints at babies born, joy and everything is just perfect now. It's all a given. There's no punch.

This is why my stories are not always Happily Ever After.
I've got two books releasing in the next month. The Forgotten Princess has the ending we all look for in a fairy tale—white horses, carriage, a wedding, and children to remember our hero and heroine. The Silver Scream, things do not end so well for our main characters. And yet, if you ask me which one has the better ending…I will pick The Silver Scream.

A little bit of sadness and desire unfulfilled leaves me, the reader, wanting just a little bit more. There's a need to return, and maybe for one little instant, a need to cry.
Crying…that is the ultimate stamp of approval in my reading world. If the Kleenex box is emptied, the book goes in the "Keeper" pile.

What about you? What makes you pick up yet another book? Is it the happy ending? A heartfelt experience? Or something else…

Visit my website! http://sonyadgrady.com

Birthdays and Loving Luke

Yep. It's my birthday, and sitting on my desk is the most beautiful flower arrangement ever with the card, "Sorry you had to work on your birthday - hope this helps - Love Ronnie." Now how sweet is that?

I'm happy about a lot of things this spring. My trip to RT in Pittsburgh, the new shingles going on the roof (okay, I'm easily amused by guys in shorts over my head - get the view?), and the release of Loving Luke. Loving Luke is the first release I've had in a while, having taken some time off while Ron was a cancer patient. I don't regret any of that time away from my writing, but I'm glad to be back at it.

Loving Luke is also my first release at New Concepts Publishing. A contemporary romance, Loving Luke is about putting the past behind you and taking a leap of faith. And a second leap, if necessary, because love is always worth it.

To read two excerpts from Loving Luke, please visit my website at http://www.rayneforrest.com/LovingLuke.html . If you click through to the second one, be warned - it's adult in nature.

Thanks for being a reader. I hope you enjoy Loving Luke.

Rayne Forrest
www.rayneforrest.com

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